Tonight I sit here reflecting on so many things after seeing that it has been since May 2011 that I have written my last post. How in the world did I let almost two years pass without writing? I have had the desire, just not the "time." In my mind "time" means the amount of my day coupled with the desire. I had the desire, but the perfection (the dreaded word) got in the way I suppose. Perfection...exposure to the world.....looking like I have it all together.....that my house is spic and span.....organized.....healthy, pre-planned meals made.....no wasted time on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, or whatever it is that I choose to use to avoid what REALLY needs to be accomplished......the perfect quiet time to be with God.....exercising.....organized family activities.....seasonal arts and crafts.....reading everyday with the kids.....and don't forget doing ALL of this with ALL SMILES! So, here's the imperfect blog post on random thoughts and ideas from my imperfect mom-brain. Beware.....just sayin'.
If you are like me, a mom of elementary aged kiddos with many activities, we run from day-to-day, activity-to-activity, meeting-to-meeting, and at the end of the day we curl up not with a good book or our spouses, but with the rest of the world on whatever social media site we choose. We see what everyone else is "updating, pinning, tweeting, or snapshotting on instagram." Do you ever feel like a complete train wreck when looking at what others are doing? I sure do! If it's not the wonderful Easter crafts that I am lucky to remember I pinned in July, or the do-it-yourself Resurrection Eggs (we have the store bought version that I have to remind myself to do, on my iPhone calendar....with alerts; it's the other things that we Moms put ourselves through. So often I find myself in the nasty cycle of the "not good enough mom." Well, you know what? I have to realize that I will never make the bazillion crafts I have pinned on Pinterest, have my children help prepare food while teaching them the many values of balanced meals, or even how to say the most precious, perfect bedtime prayers. And, you know what?? (I do realize the importance of NOT starting a sentence with "and," but whatever...) God is not keeping score on those things for me and for that I give a 3 cheers! God doesn't keep score on anything~He just wants each one of us to live a life pleasing to Him, honoring Him with our actions, big or small. In my world, I see my efforts as "good try, Laura!" However, lately, I see these efforts as pleasing to Him just as long as I am doing them for the right reasons. There is passion behind many of my actions, and in those passions I know that I am pleasing God. Sometimes those passions lead to a not-so-great outcome. So a meal turns into a complete FLOP, (me lately), who cares! Grab the cereal and milk....voila! Instant meal! So a child falls asleep after a long, fun-filled day without actually having a nourishing meal to leave them super full until the morning.....oh well. They were far more tired than hungry, obviously! Let them sleep! We could beat ourselves up over so many different things daily. As long as our love was there, passion was evident, and doing the right things for the right reasons, I think that's pretty darn good!
Tonight, after sweet Claire's bubble bath, I was reminded of how children have such faith and rarely give up on their parents. If I only had the faith of a child on a daily basis! Claire wanted me to French braid her hair, so I promised I would try after she got out and her tangles were combed. (That's a gigantic task within itself that has to be tackled with tons of faith already, just so you know!) I started to section off the parts of her long, damp hair and she began to sing a little sweet tune that she was making up as she sang, "Don't give up, never give up, lala, something like that...." It was so sweet how she had so much faith in me as I tried once again to French braid. I grew more and more frustrated as I tried maneuvering her hair in several different ways. Then, I heard her sweet little song change. The tone stayed the same, soft and sweet, as the words were altered. It went this way, "Don't ever give up, never give up, never give up like my Mom just did....lalala!" I had to chuckle, but then I felt a bit like a failure, like I had let her down, I couldn't live up to her expectation. I COULDN'T FRENCH BRAID HER BEAUTIFUL HAIR! Ugh! But as I said earlier, her song changed, but the tone, the sweet, soft voice never changed. Hmmmm......
Then, a song came to me later after she was all jammied up, snuggling up on the sofa watching her favorite show.
"Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me! Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me!" This was being repeated over and over in my head.....coincidence, I don't think so. I was reminded of how our children love unconditionally, have amazing faith not only in us, but in God, and trust beyond my imagination! She had full faith in my ability to braid her hair and it surprised her that I couldn't, but never skipped a beat and went on with her evening.
Perfection is something that we cannot achieve! If we were perfect, what would we have left to accomplish? Our time might as well be over.....since we've achieved the ultimate. Imperfection, I have found, is a gift! When we find something we aren't good at doing doesn't mean we are failures...we are loved and trusted to another task and who knows what that is. We are given grace for the moment and that will sustain us. That was evident as Claire's words in her song changed, but her tone and sweet voice never did. I see God that way....he may say, "Well, Laura, you gave up, but I will always love you, have faith in you, and know you can do whatever you set out to do."
Tonight, I was given the precious gift of grace by Claire. Even though I couldn't braid her hair perfectly, she accepted it, extended sweet grace, and continued through her activities. This, this gift, sweet friends is how I see God looking at us each time we fall, each time we think we have failed, and each time we think we can't do some task at hand. God extends His love, trust, and ultimate grace for the moment to sustain us. This is GOOD NEWS! With this good news we can press onward to the next amazing opportunity God has planned for us and know that it doesn't always have to be perfect in OUR sight because we are already precious children in HIS sight. Remember the song, "They (We) are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world."
